Why I haven't posted a Christmas blog yet. Well, there are a few reasons why I haven't.
Reason 1: I haven't put any thought into a Christmas blog for this year and am too tired to do so.
Reason 2: In all honesty I don't think I could top last years post.
And thats why I haven't posted a Christmas blog, but if you really want to read one I suggest last years.
Thanks and Merry Christmas,
Footballfullback
Stupidity is Often Painful.
As you may or may not know, I live in the South. A good friend of mine is what you might call an up-and-coming redneck. I stayed the night at his house one night, and other than his nearly burning himself - which is another story, everything went fine...until about four o'clock the next day.
We decided to go squirrel hunting (pronounced huntin' down here just so you know) and our weapons of choice were .22 rifles. Everything was going fine, we killed a squirrel or two and had to reload so we stopped and began the process of reloading.
The rifle my friend was using at the time had a tube under the barrel, into which you placed the bullets one at the time to reload it. He put the stock (which is the part of the gun which is placed on your shoulder while you shoot, for you gun-illiterate people) on the ground and kneeled beside the weapon. He pulled out some bullets and began to reload the gun.
Then it got ugly.
Apparently there was a bullet in the chamber and the safety on the gun was off. Also for some ungodly reason he had his finger placed OVER the barrel to "Steady the gun while he was reloading."
Bad combination.
"Normally I'm not that stupid,"said my friend afterwards, "I don't know why I did that. It just happened."
Needless to say, the gun went off (how it went off is still a mystery) and the bullet ripped through my friend's left index finger, shattering the joint and tearing tendons.
I was beside him reloading my gun when this happened and heard the shot. I turned to see my friend, who was just as calm as ever, looking at his finger as if he had a small cut on it and it was no big deal. I could not see his finger because of the angle and figured that, at worst, the bullet had simply grazed his finger and he indeed had only a small cut. I had no idea of the magnitude of the injury.
"Shoot your finger?" I ask, expecting a calm answer that would be somewhere along the lines of "Yeah, just grazed it. I'll be alright."
Instead, recognition flashes across his face and panic sets in.
"Yeah I did!" He shouts and takes off running.
I sit stunned for a moment, my mind trying to register what has just taken place.
My friend (who has covered about fifty yards in five seconds, which is the fastest I've ever seen him run and probably the fastest he ever will run in his life) stops, turns back, and yells at me, "Come on! I shot my finger!"
My mind, which is still struggling to grasp the event which has just taken place, finally wades through everything long enough to shout out one order:
RUN.
Run where?
HOUSE.
What then?
GET HIS PARENTS.
What then?
.........................
At this point my mind reenters its sluggish movement while trying to simultaneously figure out what happened and what to do.
It didn't matter anyway - by the time I reached the house my friend was already in the car about to take out to the hospital.
The last thing he says to me before they speed away is, "You think I'll be able to use it again?"
"I don't know!" I said the only thing I could think before he was gone.
That was 3 weeks ago and my friend is doing better now, although whether or not he'll ever use his finger again is still up in the air.
I spoke to him a few days after it happened and asked,"So what have we learned?"
"Uh.....always use a gun with a clip," was the reply.
"I was going for, 'Never put your finger over the barrel'," I said.
"That works too."
We decided to go squirrel hunting (pronounced huntin' down here just so you know) and our weapons of choice were .22 rifles. Everything was going fine, we killed a squirrel or two and had to reload so we stopped and began the process of reloading.
The rifle my friend was using at the time had a tube under the barrel, into which you placed the bullets one at the time to reload it. He put the stock (which is the part of the gun which is placed on your shoulder while you shoot, for you gun-illiterate people) on the ground and kneeled beside the weapon. He pulled out some bullets and began to reload the gun.
Then it got ugly.
Apparently there was a bullet in the chamber and the safety on the gun was off. Also for some ungodly reason he had his finger placed OVER the barrel to "Steady the gun while he was reloading."
Bad combination.
"Normally I'm not that stupid,"said my friend afterwards, "I don't know why I did that. It just happened."
Needless to say, the gun went off (how it went off is still a mystery) and the bullet ripped through my friend's left index finger, shattering the joint and tearing tendons.
I was beside him reloading my gun when this happened and heard the shot. I turned to see my friend, who was just as calm as ever, looking at his finger as if he had a small cut on it and it was no big deal. I could not see his finger because of the angle and figured that, at worst, the bullet had simply grazed his finger and he indeed had only a small cut. I had no idea of the magnitude of the injury.
"Shoot your finger?" I ask, expecting a calm answer that would be somewhere along the lines of "Yeah, just grazed it. I'll be alright."
Instead, recognition flashes across his face and panic sets in.
"Yeah I did!" He shouts and takes off running.
I sit stunned for a moment, my mind trying to register what has just taken place.
My friend (who has covered about fifty yards in five seconds, which is the fastest I've ever seen him run and probably the fastest he ever will run in his life) stops, turns back, and yells at me, "Come on! I shot my finger!"
My mind, which is still struggling to grasp the event which has just taken place, finally wades through everything long enough to shout out one order:
RUN.
Run where?
HOUSE.
What then?
GET HIS PARENTS.
What then?
.........................
At this point my mind reenters its sluggish movement while trying to simultaneously figure out what happened and what to do.
It didn't matter anyway - by the time I reached the house my friend was already in the car about to take out to the hospital.
The last thing he says to me before they speed away is, "You think I'll be able to use it again?"
"I don't know!" I said the only thing I could think before he was gone.
That was 3 weeks ago and my friend is doing better now, although whether or not he'll ever use his finger again is still up in the air.
I spoke to him a few days after it happened and asked,"So what have we learned?"
"Uh.....always use a gun with a clip," was the reply.
"I was going for, 'Never put your finger over the barrel'," I said.
"That works too."
I know 3 posts in one night its amazing
That's right. I'm the dude who got kidnapped, forced to be a gladiator, and got killed....Promising.
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Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as Maximus After his family was murdered by the evil emperor Commodus, the great Roman general Maximus went into hiding to avoid Commodus's assassins. He became a gladiator, hoping to dominate the colosseum in order to one day get the chance of killing Commodus. Maximus is valiant, courageous, and dedicated. He wants nothing more than the chance to avenge his family, but his temper often gets the better of him.
|
I lost 25 lbs. on the football diet...
It's true and if I can do it you can too. All you have to do is follow these easy steps.
STEP 1: In January, start lifting weights and running a mile and a half 5 days a week. Continue this until July.
STEP 2: In July continue weight lifting and start practicing in full pads in heat ranging anywhere from 90 to 102 degrees with humidity ranging anywhere from 80 to 100% and a heat index ranging anywhere from 95 to 120 degrees 3 days a week. Continue this until end of season.
STEP 3: Start games in August continue through October - one game every Friday plus practices and weight lifting
STEP 4: After every practice, even though you've already run yourself nearly to death, run 600 yards worth of sprints. Continue until season ends.
STEP 5: At end of season, weigh yourself.
And thats it. Easy right? Oh yeah - one more thing.
Side effects may include ( but are not limited to): Concussions, pulled muscles, arthritic joints, torn muscles, moderate or severe dehydration, sprained ankles, and a stepmother who heard you lost 25 lbs., takes your "I'm fat" jokes seriously, and now believes you're anorexic. Because she read in an article somewhere that anorexia isn't as noticeable in guys as it is in girls.
So start today and in only ten months you can lose 25 lbs. just like me.
STEP 1: In January, start lifting weights and running a mile and a half 5 days a week. Continue this until July.
STEP 2: In July continue weight lifting and start practicing in full pads in heat ranging anywhere from 90 to 102 degrees with humidity ranging anywhere from 80 to 100% and a heat index ranging anywhere from 95 to 120 degrees 3 days a week. Continue this until end of season.
STEP 3: Start games in August continue through October - one game every Friday plus practices and weight lifting
STEP 4: After every practice, even though you've already run yourself nearly to death, run 600 yards worth of sprints. Continue until season ends.
STEP 5: At end of season, weigh yourself.
And thats it. Easy right? Oh yeah - one more thing.
Side effects may include ( but are not limited to): Concussions, pulled muscles, arthritic joints, torn muscles, moderate or severe dehydration, sprained ankles, and a stepmother who heard you lost 25 lbs., takes your "I'm fat" jokes seriously, and now believes you're anorexic. Because she read in an article somewhere that anorexia isn't as noticeable in guys as it is in girls.
So start today and in only ten months you can lose 25 lbs. just like me.
Part 3: Time
Sam looked around his little “office” and saw nothing but the flaws in it. That seemed to be all he ever saw in anything or anybody. He didn’t know why. He had just always been that way. He noticed the coffee stain on the blue carpet that really needed to be covered with something – but he had nothing to cover it with unless he rearranged his office, and that was something he really didn’t have time to do.
“Maybe someday,” he thought to himself. He chuckled at that notion. Seems Someday” was his favorite word lately. Even though he knew deep within himself that Someday would never come, he liked to think about what a great day Someday would be. He leaned back in his leather office chair, the one luxury he allowed himself, and he took a moment to consider all the wonderful things that would happen Someday.
Someday would be a busy day, no doubt. He would take a vacation Someday. He would spend more time with his family Someday. On Someday, he would fix that sign out in front of his office, he would cover that ugly carpet stain, but most importantly, he would have the one thing he most prized and yet which seemed to escape him the most: Time. Even though such a thing was forever unlikely, he couldn’t help but to catch the smile crossing his lips as he thought of it. Someday he would have Time. The one thing people seemed to wish for more than anything else, and yet the one thing most often wasted whenever anyone ever got it. Well, that and Money.
The irony was that when you get one, you don’t usually get the other. Time is a wonderful thing to have, and when you work for a living you don’t ever have enough of it. But if you’re unemployed and broke, Time begins to feel like The Enemy. That’s a cruel fact of life. Time is not to be taken lightly.
He was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of his office door opening. He leaned forward in his chair to greet this tall, burly gentleman whose imposing presence, one that could easily strike terror in the hearts of lesser men, was betrayed by the fear starkly evident in his own ice-blue eyes.
Here's the next paragraph:
This is Football Fullback's mom. I'm guessing he didn't think to post it before he left so I'm putting it up here for ya. He's working on it, though.
Work. He chuckled as he walked to his car. Now that was an interesting thing. It was entertaining sometimes, at least. Some people probably wouldn’t think so, but then again, he wasn’t Some People. He pulled up to the front of the tiny block building that he paid way too much every month to lease. The size was perfect for him because he worked alone. He didn’t really need any help to do his job though he did get lonely from time to time. As he got out of his car he noticed that his little sign that told the world what he used this building for was missing a letter: : SAM FISHER - PRIV TE INVESTIGATOR. He would fix that later. Just another thing to add to his to-do list, which was already plenty long. He’d get around to it one day.
Maybe.
Title Not Available
I wrote this when I was bored one night I still have no clue where Im going with so bear with me something will come eventually.
So there he was. Just all of a sudden, he was there. He didn’t know how he got there, or why he was there, or even where "there" was. All he knew was that he was there for some reason but what that reason was remained a mystery to him. He tried to remember what he had been doing but he soon found that he had a throbbing headache that made it nearly impossible to think. Still he tried…. nothing. He didn’t understand.
“Nothing? How do you come up with nothing? It’s your life, you lived it, so how can you not come up with something?” he thought. So he tried again and it all started to come back. Slowly at first, but it started coming back faster, thinking became easier, he realized that his headache was vanishing, and he was thankful for that. With the headache gone it was easier to think. Then it hit him. He knew where he was, what he had been doing, and how he got there. He stood up slowly and looked at the man as he entered the room.
3 weeks earlier
Sam Fisher was a very confident man. He stood at six feet tall with dark brownhair, and with eyes so blue the likes of which have never been seen before. He had a great job, a great house, and a great family. Everything was perfect, he wasn’t in debt, he had just gotten a promotion, and his wife and kids were very happy.
Or so he thought. Sam was a hard working man. One who often either stayed at work late or brought work home with him. His wife understood, she always had, and he had never heard her complain about it - or about anything for that matter. Come to think of it, his wife hadn’t said much at all the past week or so.
He would ask her about that later. Right now he had work to do.
So there he was. Just all of a sudden, he was there. He didn’t know how he got there, or why he was there, or even where "there" was. All he knew was that he was there for some reason but what that reason was remained a mystery to him. He tried to remember what he had been doing but he soon found that he had a throbbing headache that made it nearly impossible to think. Still he tried…. nothing. He didn’t understand.
“Nothing? How do you come up with nothing? It’s your life, you lived it, so how can you not come up with something?” he thought. So he tried again and it all started to come back. Slowly at first, but it started coming back faster, thinking became easier, he realized that his headache was vanishing, and he was thankful for that. With the headache gone it was easier to think. Then it hit him. He knew where he was, what he had been doing, and how he got there. He stood up slowly and looked at the man as he entered the room.
3 weeks earlier
Sam Fisher was a very confident man. He stood at six feet tall with dark brownhair, and with eyes so blue the likes of which have never been seen before. He had a great job, a great house, and a great family. Everything was perfect, he wasn’t in debt, he had just gotten a promotion, and his wife and kids were very happy.
Or so he thought. Sam was a hard working man. One who often either stayed at work late or brought work home with him. His wife understood, she always had, and he had never heard her complain about it - or about anything for that matter. Come to think of it, his wife hadn’t said much at all the past week or so.
He would ask her about that later. Right now he had work to do.
3 statements 1 term
Its a term thats so loosely slung around in the world today, its an emotion that will compel anyone to do almost anything, and its God's greatest gift to man aside from salvation. It's love. allow me to explain my statements.
1. Its so loosely slung around - This one is pretty self explanatory but I will expand on it for you. Love is,as I have already stated, an emotion and a dangerous one if tampered with too much and if you tell someone you love them it should be expected that you actually love them - and not just telling them you do so they will be happy. If you tell someone you love them and you really don't then there is probably a heartbreak waiting to happen down the road somewhere. Yet people do that everyday and people get heartbroken everyday. So this is why I believe the term love is too loosely slung around.
2.Its an emotion that will compel anyone to do almost anything - Also pretty self explanatory but once again I will expand for you. There have been many cases where love has compelled peope to do bad things, and it doesn't have to be the love of another person. It could be the love of money. "For the love of money is the root of all evil." But love also compels people to do good things such as put food on the table for your family and to just all around care for your family and friends. So once again it's a strong emotion.
3.It's God's greatest gift to man besides salvation - " Faith hope and love are some good things He gave us, and the greatest is love." Self explanatory.
1. Its so loosely slung around - This one is pretty self explanatory but I will expand on it for you. Love is,as I have already stated, an emotion and a dangerous one if tampered with too much and if you tell someone you love them it should be expected that you actually love them - and not just telling them you do so they will be happy. If you tell someone you love them and you really don't then there is probably a heartbreak waiting to happen down the road somewhere. Yet people do that everyday and people get heartbroken everyday. So this is why I believe the term love is too loosely slung around.
2.Its an emotion that will compel anyone to do almost anything - Also pretty self explanatory but once again I will expand for you. There have been many cases where love has compelled peope to do bad things, and it doesn't have to be the love of another person. It could be the love of money. "For the love of money is the root of all evil." But love also compels people to do good things such as put food on the table for your family and to just all around care for your family and friends. So once again it's a strong emotion.
3.It's God's greatest gift to man besides salvation - " Faith hope and love are some good things He gave us, and the greatest is love." Self explanatory.
Respect
Respect. Something everyone wants, few have, and barely anyone gives. To be respected, as I have said before, you must first respect others. One of the problems in the world today is that no one respects and everyone wants to be respected. Too many people try to earn respect the wrong way and they end up with less respect then they started out with and they're probably in jail,or in serious trouble. To earn my respect you must do whats right and not brag about it,you must be a person who is likable enough to be a friend but not afraid to chastise your friend when they do something wrong,you must be yourself around everybody and stand up for what you believe in. You don't have to do something great, you don't even have to think of something that has any possibility of being great,you be yourself and I can almost guarentee you will be respected for it. I'm not saying everyone will like you. Of course there will be some who will despise you for it. There will be some who will try to drag you down. When this happens be yourself and stay yourself and I guarantee that you will be respected by at least one person. So if nothing else just be yourself no matter what.
I Don't Get It.
Everybody has things they don't understand and then you have these people who think they understand everything but really don't understand hardly anything. You know the kind of people I'm talking about? You know, the ones that will carry on a conversation with you about something they have never heard of.
Its like my grandma talking about a football game. She'll say something like, "So they gave the ball to the guy behind the guy that gets the ball to begin with and he took it and got a homerun." And then I have to translate and say, "You mean the quarterback handed the ball off to the tailback and the tailback got a touchdown." Then she says,"Yeah thats it."
You know people who say stuff like that all the time. Basically what I'm getting at is this: people try to be something they're not to fit in. I just don't get it. Be yourself and you won't have to worry about trying to be someone you're not, and that takes a load off your shoulders, trust me.
And if you say no one likes you or your original personality or the way you are you either need to step back and seriously reevaluate your life or you've told yourself for so long that nobody likes you that you find yourself actually believing that. And if you're the former of those two the latter has already happened to you, and if it's latter then snap out of it before you end up like the former.
Another thing I don't understand is the lack of respect for all people. My generation respects nobody except themselves, yet they want everybody to respect them. To be respected you must first be respectful. Its sort of like to have friends you must first be friendly. You sort of have to start at the bottom and work your way up. But that is a blog for another time.
Its like my grandma talking about a football game. She'll say something like, "So they gave the ball to the guy behind the guy that gets the ball to begin with and he took it and got a homerun." And then I have to translate and say, "You mean the quarterback handed the ball off to the tailback and the tailback got a touchdown." Then she says,"Yeah thats it."
You know people who say stuff like that all the time. Basically what I'm getting at is this: people try to be something they're not to fit in. I just don't get it. Be yourself and you won't have to worry about trying to be someone you're not, and that takes a load off your shoulders, trust me.
And if you say no one likes you or your original personality or the way you are you either need to step back and seriously reevaluate your life or you've told yourself for so long that nobody likes you that you find yourself actually believing that. And if you're the former of those two the latter has already happened to you, and if it's latter then snap out of it before you end up like the former.
Another thing I don't understand is the lack of respect for all people. My generation respects nobody except themselves, yet they want everybody to respect them. To be respected you must first be respectful. Its sort of like to have friends you must first be friendly. You sort of have to start at the bottom and work your way up. But that is a blog for another time.
Speaking My Mind
95% of the time I speak my mind. About 70% of the time I get in trouble for speaking my mind. The other 5% of the time when I don't speak my mind I'm not talking. I do get mad when I get in trouble for speaking my mind but I know it's going to happen and I have learned to live with it. But I'm not going to stop speaking my mind any time soon. I mean really somebody has got to speak their mind because when no one speaks their mind something is terribly wrong. Plus I have a right to think, I have a right to speak my thought , and if you don't like it, that's your problem. If you don't want to hear it DON'T LISTEN. It's as simple as that. If you don't listen you don't hear. If you don't hear you aren't offended, but sadly enough if you don't listen you don't learn. If you're never offended then you obviously either don't do anything or don't listen which means you don't learn and without knowledge life doesn't mean much. Why? Because you never cared long enough to listen and figure out what to do with life. So what does all of this have to do with me speaking my mind? Nothing really. I speak my mind to make me feel better not you, and if you don't like it I really don't care. So if you think that if you tell me you're offended by what I said or you try to, and succeed in, getting me in trouble that I will no longer speak my mind and you will no longer have to hear it or be offended, Think Again. Because I DON'T CARE if you're offended a lot of the time and most of the time it's probably better if you are offended. Because if you take it the right way there is a possibility that it could help you in your life, because a lot of the time negative things tell you what you need to do with your life to improve it. So next time you're offended try to take what is said and make yourself a BETTER PERSON. By no means though do you use this as an excuse to buckle under peer pressure. I don't want any one saying " Well,they offended me so I had to do it." BULLCRAP. You make yourself a BETTER PERSON by applying insults POSITIVELY to change you for the BETTER. Not anything like "They called me a coward so I did it." No. Wrong. Whatever it is it is probably not worth it down the road. So plan ahead, change for the better,and I don't care if you don't like it when I speak my mind.